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Chapter 41

WHAT WAS THE effect upon me of my years with Gurdjieff as a child, and what did I learn at the Prieure?

I am tempted to answer that question with another question: How is it possible to evaluate such an experience? There was no training or education available at the Prieure which would serve to prepare any individual for success in the ordinary sense of the word; I had not learned enough to enter a college, I could not even pass a final high school examination. I did not become a benevolent, wise, or even a more competent individual in any visible sense. I did not become a happier, more peaceful, or less troubled person. A few of the things I did learn -- that life is lived today -- right now -- and that the fact of death is inevitable; that man is a perplexing, confusing and inexplicable, unimportant cog in the universe -- are perhaps things that I might have learned anywhere.

However, I might well go back to the year 1924, and repeat that whatever else existence is or may seem to be, it is a gift. And like all gifts ... anything is possible ... there might be a miracle inside the box.

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