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FIRST THOUGHT BEST THOUGHT, 108 POEMS |
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THE MYTH OF FREEDOM An intelligent and highly emotional young man, disliking the hustle and bustle of the city and the impositions of friends and relatives, decided to leave. He set out on foot and soon found himself crossing pleasant valleys and woods. He found a solitary and peaceful spot and decided to settle there. He enjoyed the sight of wild animals roaming freely, and flocks of birds.
As the moonlight of peace and solitude spreads, Wild animals roam free and harmless. The wild flowers and trees are glamorous, The scent of herbs is pervasive. Who wouldn't take delight in this solitude, worthy to be praised by Brahma?
At times the young man dwelling in solitude is full of joy, at times he is afraid. Sometimes he has thoughts of the city and the years spent with his relatives and friends. Sometimes he feels uncomfortable at being in the mountain emptiness and becomes afraid that wild animals will attack him. He has ample supplies of food, but still he has the constant fear of running out. He has looked at the delightful landscape too long, and now it appears irritatingly monotonous. The tuneful song of the birds becomes mocking. He can't get to sleep at night, so he feels very tired during the day, and the boundary between waking experience and dream becomes fuzzy. Altogether, he suffers continually from paranoia and daydreams, and doesn't know what to do. He is imprisoned in his own projections.
The external projection is empty of good and bad, The internal fixation of hope and fear imprisons. Truth and falsehood are at war. The simple-minded child is wounded by the arrow of confusion.
Sometimes he thinks of returning to the city and sometimes he thinks of hiding in the nearest village. He just wants to leave the desolate countryside. Finally, he ties his things into a bundle and goes back to the city. He meets his friends and relatives, but the fear he felt in his desolate retreat continues to haunt him. Sometimes he sees his friends and relatives as illusory maidens dancing, and sometimes as a threatening army. In the midst of such uncertainty, he wishes he could find a friend with whom to discuss the whole thing. But he doesn't know how to find a friend who is not an illusion. So the young man tries to find the boundary between illusion and reality.
When the endless illusory plot is all-pervading, The folly of mind's limitless duplicity is uncovered. By running away from friends you discover illusory friends. Friends manifesting as enemies is the nature of illusion; By projecting your duplicity on others you lose your own ground. The friend who is not an illusory projection is found in yourself.
5 November 1972
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